Andrew Cornell

I read this excerpt from Generation iY: Our Last Chance to Save Their Future by Tim Elmore the other day. This book is incredible and necessary for anyone involved with this generation (people born in the 80′s or 90′s, according to the author).

“Being constantly protected and provided for tends to hinder maturity and nurture a sense of entitlement. Always winning, they may never have failed at anything. They believe they deserve it.”

My generation and the one coming after mine is plagued with entitlement. Surprise!

I won’t get into all the theory and facts behind why that is. There are many resources out there to spell that out. The bigger focus needs to be on how to develop people out of the mindset. I use the word develop because it is going to be a process, one that takes work. We have to change the way we do things. The quote above gets into one of the ways we have to change – our leadership style. We won’t control this generation into being people that take ownership. We have to put them in situations where they can fail, where things that matter rest on their shoulders. That takes a little letting go. That implies taking a little risk. In situations where failure is possible, where they have to look at themselves, they realize they might have to earn something. That they don’t deserve it unless they work for it. That the buck stops with…them.

Help young people go from entitlement to the opposite, better mindset – ownership. Give them some room, some opportunity to fail.

To young people reading this, nobody owes you anything. Surprise! (Well, you are owed someone helping you realize that nobody owes you anything).

I just watched this video of Steve Job’s 2005 Commencement Address at Stanford. There are great, powerful lessons in here. It is worth the 15 minutes. We lost a great innovator.

“For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself – ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. Remembering that I will be dead soon is the most important tool I have ever encountered to make the big choices in life.”

Don’t settle.

It really isn’t. There are countless books. Countless podcasts. Countless blogs. Countless methods. Countless people trying to figure out how to do it. But, I am convinced that it is not difficult. What is difficult is having honest conversation and giving honest feedback. Really honest. Like what you really think about another person’s performance, their character, their chemistry, their competency. Leadership development is not difficult. Honesty is. But we owe it to people we lead.

I am convinced this one thing will get people the majority of the way to where they want to be with developing others. One thing.

We can spend tons of money and time learning the newest methods and best practices. We can look at great developers of people and break down everything they do into steps. We can attend the seminars and unpack all the resources but still fall short. In the restaurant business, I would see some leaders do the exact same things as incredible people developers and have dramatically different results. Woefully short. On the other hand, I’d see people who lacked significant structure, systems and concrete methods making significant progress with developing their staff. From my own experience, development would come to a halt if I stopped saying what needed to be said.

Genuine, honest conversation will get you quite far along the path of leadership development all on it’s own. No help needed. All the methods and best practices are rather simple to execute and will only make what is already happening more organized, formal, efficient and effective. Don’t get me wrong, the best leadership developers will have intentional processes. But, intentionality without honesty is useless. A football coach could intentionally show up to practice every day, but if he isn’t honest in his feedback, the team isn’t going anywhere. Don’t focus on the leadership development issue. Focus on the honesty issue.

I should make a couple disclaimers: I am making the assumption that the right person is in place. If it’s the wrong person, than it’s still an honesty issue – honesty with ourselves that a change is needed. I am also making the assumption that a sincere care for the people as individuals is in place. If that isn’t, don’t bother being honest. They won’t hear what you’re saying.

Parenting is kind of a big deal. I don’t want to get it wrong.

Lyndsey and I have had brief conversations about what we’d want to instill in our kids. With our daughter approaching two and having plenty of teachable moments, I have been thinking about how to describe what I would want to mold as a parent. A vision statement if you will.

We want to raise kids that… When the kid’s leave the house, I hope they will… I hope they are…

Lyndsey and I haven’t had any formal conversations about this. They have all been brief and out of nowhere. But we would like to have some sort of a goal. One thing is certain – “If you aim for nothing, you’ll hit it every time.”

The reality is that we could throw tons of characteristics into a statement that are good, but leave it somewhat incomplete. They could be hard-working. Employable. Financially sound. Intelligent. Able to be good spouses and good parents. Passionate. Friendly. Coming up with the right words is hard. We could lump a whole bunch of good characteristics into what we want to aim for with our kids and still have an incomplete goal – one that does not lead to a life they or we desire.

While driving the other day, the statement hit me…maybe the perfect statement for what would be success for us as parents. One that is more foundational than characteristics.

“To raise kids more concerned with the glory of God and the good of others than themselves.”

That’s it. The wife signed off. If that is in place, everything else falls into place. They’ll seek wisdom. They’ll be learners. They’ll work diligently. They’ll love and serve their spouses. On and on and on. So, that’s it. That’s the goal I’ll pray for. God has to do this through us and in them. Only by His grace will it happen.

In my Pastor’s house, there is a bowl of rocks on the coffee table. Every one of them has been written on with permanent marker – dates and some text. Each rock represents a significant time when God has shown Himself in their lives – answers to prayers, miracles, stories. The bowl is a reminder to remember.

My wife and I have duplicated it. It is fun and refreshing to look at the rocks every now and then to remember.

1/14/10 – Our daughter, Kate, was born
02/10 – When God convicted me to not pursue my dream store with Chick-fil-A
05/10 – When God reminded me after I ignored Him. At that point, I knew my plans with CFA were trumped and my career aspirations would be short lived.
8/11/10 – When I was convicted to “stop striving” with my plans and great peace set in
08/10 – When I told my business consultant with CFA, not knowing how long they’d allow me to keep my contract, and they supported us entirely as it unfolded despite not wanting us to leave.
10/10 – Our first Sunday at Bow Down Church when God made part of our journey clear
11/10 – Our car basically died and we could not afford to replace it knowing we were leaving our job. Friends gave us their car.
11/10 – My Dad called with a significant spot on his spline. The doctor thought it would be serious and possibly cancerous. That same morning I had started memorizing Mark 11:23-24. We prayed and 2 days later, the spot was gone.

05/11 – Started working at Urban Youth Impact

There are more rocks not mentioned. But, you get the idea. God shows up. We should remember. For He is good. “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.”

Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”

At the Willow Creek Global Leadership Summit today, Bill Hybels opened with a powerful talk. He spoke a good bit about the need to have conversations with people on staff who are underperforming, have bad attitudes, etc. We often wait far too long. We often soften the issue. And everyone involved is underserved – the person, you, every one on the team.

In one illustration, he spoke about the most difficult conversations to have – those when the person has served faithfully for a long time (the person he spoke of was there for 20 years), works hard, loves the vision, loves the team, BUT does not have the necessary capacity to grow into where the organization currently is and is going. The complexities, the challenges, the demands have outgrown the person. This is not a black and white situation. Hybels stressed the weight of these situations and spoke of how important it is to move slowly. Put a 6-12 month timeline in place for the person to catch up. Love them, coach them.

But, what if their competency does not get to where it is needed? What if they can’t get there?

Hybels ultimately had to let this person go (with generous severance and an exit strategy).

This issue came up at lunch. Some had significant issues with this approach in a biblical context. How could you part ways and basically fire someone who has served faithfully for two decades?

On the other hand, what if this role is crucial to the vision and purpose of the church (side note – every role is crucial)? What if it limits effectiveness in reaching hundreds or even thousands of people over the next decade?

How do you honor both? Some wondered if a church the size of Willow Creek could have found a different role for this person. But, what if his skill was specialized and there really was no other role? Do you stick them in a role with less responsibility not in their area of gifting or passion? If it’s less responsibility, can you pay them what they were making and call it good stewardship of finances? If you take them out of their area of gifting and/or lower their pay, is that honoring? Could it be more honoring to help them find a better fit somewhere else?

Hybels did not give many details regarding the complexities of the situation. They don’t really matter because every situation like this will be a little different. Ultimately, we have to ask God repeatedly for more wisdom to handle these situations well. We are stewards of all entrusted to us – from the one person to the entire team and the purpose of the entire organization. It is not black and white. I do, however, believe that when wrestling with this tension, you can honor both the person and the greater purpose at the same time every time. It may not all make sense in the midst, but a solution exists. And it won’t always be the same solution. Pray. Seek wisdom from God and others. I believe with prayer, it will become black and white for you as a leader. Sometimes it will mean moving someone to a new role. It could mean creating two roles in the same area. And, sometimes, it could mean asking the person to make an exit strategy to leave the team. Welcome to leadership.

The conversation was very engaging at lunch. Everyone voiced opinions. It did not ever get loud or disrespectful. There was a little tension though. A little heat.

And there has to be heat. Iron never sharpens iron without it. Welcome other opinions. Welcome the tension. Be thankful for others.

This video documents part of what I have worked on this summer – the 6 week Summer Work Program at Urban Youth Impact.

The program has been around for a while. The students receive pay from money donated to work in businesses/organizations around West Palm Beach for 4 days a week from 9am – 1:30pm. They also receive training – work skills, life skills – most of which takes place on Friday of each week. In past years, numerous speakers (influential people from the community) would be brought in and the students would be taught in a lecture style – 2-3 speakers/day, back to back to back.

I wanted to do something a little different. Young people have to be engaged in an interactive, experiential way for true growth to happen. I dropped the number of speakers over the 6 weeks from around 12 to 4. The training followed a theme – grow yourself, grow others, grow your influence. Each speaker followed that theme working from personal development (from attire for the work world to goal setting) to teamwork/team development all ending with the need to influence others in the community by giving back. With less speakers, most of the training time was spent on this entrepreneurial project. They designed coaster sets for Christ Fellowship (thank you CF for getting behind this) with their vision statement on the coasters.

Overall, it was a blast. Stressful, tiring, fast-paced, messy, demanding, but a blast. The students had to work in teams with people they weren’t comfortable with. Crashing them together got ugly at times – imagine twenty-five students working with people who weren’t their friends (at first), on a highly detailed, highly tedious, highly creative project, with a strict time constraint (about 3 hours each Friday) and almost no hand-holding (I was the only adult in the room). When the squeeze is on, the real person comes out and growth can happen more quickly. Otherwise, I might as well had them sit and watch paint dry while barking at them. All said, I was very proud of the students. They accomplished the goal – 400 coasters. In the end, I learned just as much, if not more than, the students did. Check out the video.

Urban Coasters Project with Summer Work Program from Urban Youth Impact on Vimeo.

People have asked what my wife and I are doing, so I thought I’d put it on a blog post. What better way to communicate authentically? A few disclaimers – This is long. If you read it, please read the whole thing. Also, please do not read this like I am transferring it onto anyone else. This is what God is doing with us. The principles apply to all people, but it will look different for different people. It is not about doing certain things but about the perspective in all we do. The perspectives apply whether you run a business and make millions or plant churches.

It is hard to be brief and get the details in that complete the picture. It is hard because we don’t even see the whole picture yet – it’s like trying to explain what a puzzle looks like with the box missing and only half of the pieces.

I have been a Chick-fil-A Operator since the end of 2007. Near the end of 2009, my wife and I found out that our dream store was going to be built (a location we wanted to be at since before I was selected as an Operator). I was going for it with everything I had and was told I was a very viable candidate for it. Four months later, as I was sitting in the annual Operator seminar, an impression came over me while listening to a message from Bill Hybels that was unmistakable – stop pursuing that store. It came out of nowhere. Not the audible voice of God. Just a thought that was definitely not my own thought.

Deep down, there was a sickening feeling because I knew what heeding would mean. I had an immediate sense that my Chick-fil-A career, which I loved, would be ending soon. So, what did I do? I ignored it. Completely. I remember saying to God [...]

There is a lot “out there” on leadership development. A lot of knowledge. Countless books. Endless needs. A lot of experience to be had. I am stating the obvious to say that there has been a shift over recent years from needing managers – people who do things rightly, to leaders – people who do the right things. A shift from needing people that can follow instructions to people who can make judgment calls and exist within a framework. Or, for that matter, cast the vision and invent the framework. From people who can maintain to people who can innovate. From those that control subordinates to those that inspire people.

But developing leaders is not enough. The concept is often short-sighted in the way it plays out. Or, rather, it is incomplete.

Our mind often stops once we can answer “YES” to the question, “Can this person lead?” Success. Results. Relaxation. Euphoria.

Three years later…who takes their place? Succession crisis.

We need to think more along the lines of, “Can this person lead, AND can they teach others to lead?” When we answer YES to both of those questions and it is actually happening, we go from constantly stopping and restarting to continuous positive motion. Great leaders develop leaders who develop leaders. Who will be running the place in 5 years? Who’s leading tomorrow’s churches? Hopefully they’re already being developed.

Who’s next? And once they’re there, do they know who’s next? Teach others who are able to teach others.

The reach of influence and impact is unforeseeable when this mindset saturates a group of people.

We seek God’s hand far too much.

It reminds me some of my 14-month old daughter. When she wakes up every morning and she knows we’re preparing breakfast, she gets so anxious. If I step away from the high chair to get the food – panic. Sheer panic. If she sees I am holding food and I am not yet feeding her, she does not stop focusing on my hand with a look of complete uneasiness. And if she has to wait a few seconds beyond her expectations…

Her myriad of actions makes it look like she doesn’t trust me. Like she is unsure of who I am. She has never gone one morning without food. Ever. Every morning though, she seems to forget that. Maybe she just really likes food (she does). But, it sure seems like she is actually unsure that she will be fed. If she could get her infant brain to understand more who I was, my character and nature and the depth with which I love her, she would wait more patiently. She would not be concerned with what is in my hand or, for that matter, whether or not it was good.

A couple of months ago, there was a challenge at church to seek God’s face and not His hand. On the journey my wife and I have been on leaving my great career in obedience to God, we have learned to do this. We will have to relearn this in the future I am sure.  But I can attest – when we come to know Him more, seeking Him and not what He can give us, there is peace. We don’t need to know exactly what is in His hand. And we can rest, knowing His timing is perfect. Our confidence rests not in what He is holding or when we’ll get it, but first in the fact that it is He that is holding it. He is a good Father.